I hope mine doesn't look like that
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
