I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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