I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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