Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i think my cat just said my name.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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