She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
