HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
