You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
