Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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