tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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