He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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