shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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