he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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