Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
