Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
