apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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