Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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