We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
