What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
