I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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