i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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