The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
