I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
