the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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