Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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