i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
