Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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