what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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