he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
