the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize