What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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