Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
