He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
