She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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