Are we in a gay sports bar?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
