My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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