I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
