Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
