fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
