dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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