Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
