we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
