Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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