I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
