I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
