she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Come on in and take your pants off
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