My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
