Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
