It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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