I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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