is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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