do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
