I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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